Parenting is more than duty - Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha.

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Sunday, May 15, 2022. 06:00.

Parenting is more than duty :

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Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha answers questions on parenting and duty love my children, but there are times when I really feel that parenting is a huge burden.Finding a balance between home and work can be so exasperating How do I overcome this?While to some extent, desire and its consequent burden are part of household life, the fact remains that this plight robs away the very purpose and fruition of the householder. The question is: Do you like such a plight? If you do not, the straight answer is:.be free of undue desire and the burden it fetches.

Learn to live in peaceful harmony with yourself.Desire of any nature always constricts the mind. Such constriction prevents the mind to express itself fully, healthily, and harmoniously Understand this mental truth and always think of avoiding desires and the consequent torments In reality, it is not desire, but something else far higher that should verily work in the human The truth about it will be known only through right exposure and enlightenmentIt’s a pleasure to have a child With the.child and the consequent involvement, if the very objective of happiness is adversely affected, isn’t there something wrong in our attitude? And then, does not the situation call for re-evaluation? With the childbirth, you have assumed a new status —one of the Creator.

This too is a great and complex role Are you aware of this great role? Or is it that you are not able to rise to its lofty level in your mind, intelligence and ego? Will you examine your inner framework and find out where it stands?Your spiritual practices, in fact, should have been intensified with your new status For, by that alone, you can detect the deficiencies and strive to redress them Think whether this is so or notOne important spiritual discipline is: Do not do what you like Learn to.do what is necessary.

Likewise, do not always try to avoid what you dislike That may not be possible You want to be at home, but that is not possible You do not like to be in office; that, too, is impossible What then? Learn to accept what you dislikeThis means your effort must be to cultivate refinement and loftiness whereby the mind will always rise above its likes and dislikesDevelop a broad and creative platform to be able to do whatever is necessary and desirableI have always thought it my duty to take care of.my family and to do justice to my work responsibilities at office.

Sometimes, though, the pressure can be overpowering How do I find a balance?I often hear people say: “It is my duty to do this; it is my duty to do that” Some also speak in the same strain when those about whom they speak are their own dear and near ones — wife, husband, children, and parentsWhat is there to be termed as duty when life’s basic and natural traits and impulses are concerned? No one speaks of a duty in the matter of breathing, of eating and drinking The existence of the.body necessitates all these functions.

In the same manner, the existence of the mind and the inner being of ours brings in their wake a number of similar needs and urges To love her child is not a ‘duty’ of the mother To be devoted and loving towards one’s spouse is much less a dutyEqually so, to be regarding one’s own parents and elders in general cannot be termed a ‘duty’ A normal human mind, which thinks and acts sensibly, cannot but express all this It is as natural and irresistible a process of the mind as are.breathing, eating and drinking.

If the concept of ‘duty’ has to be courted in order to give vent to these natural, primary, and irresistible expressions, it is deplorableWhat is meant by ‘duty’, of which we often make mention? You begin to think of duty only when what you propose to do does not have an innate and ready acceptance in your mind, when your being is not heartily out to do it Any thought of duty implies, in other words, the working of two distinct factors, which are opposite to each other First comes the.basic resistance or unwillingness which the mind raises.

In order to overcome this resistance, you then try to bring in the concept of duty, holding it as a worthy ideal to be pursued Thinking of the ideal, you then proceed to act with a view to realise it, not anything else It is, therefore, more a sense of compulsion, of obligation, that makes you do what you do, and not the natural outpouring of your own free and innocent nature If you ask me, this is far from what is good, what is pleasant, what is desirable and what is really expected of a wise person.

The child is always a full answer to every question of ours Look at the child and see how it acts It does not have any sense of duty or compulsion Its mind is incapable of it Yet he does manifest love to the mother, to the father, to others near and dear to him In so loving, the child is quite lavish He does so with all freedom and fullness Despite your growth, maturity and wisdom, if you are not able to do what even a little child in his state of rudimentarily does consistently, that would be a travesty.

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 Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha

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