How to find peace - 4 : Sri Swami Chidananda.

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Tuesday, February 01, 2022. 05:30.

4. The Four Relationships :

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Patanjali mentions a certain psychological approach to the world that he says is the way to peace. If you want to have your peace unaffected, keep a certain attitude in the four levels of relationship that you have. Patanjali says to always have a friendly attitude towards your own equals, friends, colleagues and companions. If they are happy, be happy and don’t be unhappy out of jealousy because they are happy. Never wish them any harm, because at times among colleagues there can be a spirit of competition, and that is no good for your peace of mind. You would be very unwise if you give in to this all too common human failing. If both of you are trying for something, and somehow you fail and the other succeeds, you could then say, “What does it matter? It is good. Someone has to succeed, and I am happy about it.” If the other person is happy, if he succeeds, or if he is popular, you are happy for him, and then there will be no fire burning in your heart. So, Patanjali says that towards those with whom you are equal, have a feeling of friendship. There is peace of mind and serenity, a restfulness of conscience. Let that be your attitude—an affectionate attitude of friendship and well wishing towards your equals.

Towards your superiors—people who are more than you in strength, power, talent, authority or official position—have equanimity. Don’t be perturbed and don’t let them make you feel upset. Sometimes in their presence one may be a little timid and nervous. Don’t be nervous! Have a vedantic attitude—after all, he is a man just like you, and the other things are only qualifications. Have serene equanimity, then your mind will be calm. Don’t be over-awed and overcome, but have serenity in their presence. I need not say much about this particular thing to Americans—they already have naturally got a feeling of equality built into them! But in some countries this deference to authority is very much there, and it needs to be addressed.

To those who occupy a lesser position than yours in any way, do not look down upon them, and don’t have a condescending and overbearing attitude. This stance will give you a superiority complex and is not conducive to a good relationship. But we often tend to be like this—overbearing, not caring, insensitive and riding roughshod over the feelings of others. It is a human weakness, and we often do it. We must have kindness and compassion to anyone who seems lesser in any way. It may be in social status, in wealth, age, position, power—whatever it may be—be kind and compassionate. Then you will have peace of mind.

The fourth in this series is your attitude towards wicked people. They are always there in the world. We are apt to become very upset about them, but it is of no use. They are what they are, and they are not going to change. Just be indifferent, because in this case indifference is wisdom. The best attitude if you don’t want to be upset is just to ignore them. These then are the fourfold attitudes: an affectionate feeling towards equals; an attitude of equanimity and equipoise towards superiors; an attitude of kindness and compassion towards people lesser than you; and an attitude of indifference towards wicked people. These attitudes are conducive to peace, and this is the essence of raja yoga.

Another key topic regarding peace of mind should be noted here. It is incapacitating to be constantly eaten up by guilt feelings for whatever you might have done or whatever you might have failed to do. If these guilt feelings are taken beyond reasonable limits, they become a negative burden and exert a downward pull on you, and they can render you very ineffective. However, if the guilt feeling makes you remorseful and you genuinely repent what has been done or left undone, this is right and natural. Make repentance and then resolve not to let it happen again—then forget about it. You have in that instance gone through the fire and come out purified. It is finished.

Once their purpose is served, throw all guilt feelings overboard. Whatever you have done might be very sinful and nasty in the eyes of man, but not in the eyes of God, because He is all-forgiving. Therefore, standing before Him, know that in His gaze you are already forgiven. There is no sin that is too great for Him, so get rid of these guilt feelings. Elevate yourself from this enervating, painful negativity and stand clear. These are the various sources that will give you the strength and inner power to overcome life’s temptations and problems, and they are the essential sources of peace that you should achieve in this life. Through these inherent qualities you can have and maintain peace.

I conclude by bringing you back to the original starting point. The greatest source of strength, power and peace is atma-bhav. That is to be rooted in the awareness of your truth, your reality and your essential Self—instead of getting involved in a wrong identity that is the source of all weaknesses, trouble and agitation. To be firmly rooted in your essential inner spiritual identity is the greatest source of strength and peace.

These ideas are for you to carefully sift, study, ponder and apply. Enrich yourself and benefit from these things that I have shared in the name of worshipful and beloved Holy Master, Gurudev Swami Sivananda. God bless you. May grace be with you and may your Self be with you. When Self-awareness is there, many vexations and complications vanish. When the Self is not there, It is replaced by an impostor—the wrong personality—and many complications and troubles arise. Let us abide in the Self and all that it means. Let there be bright light within and not darkness. The source of all true strength, power and peace is your own Self in the depths of your own Om Tat Sat.

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